- teacher: you will be sorted into grou--
- me: can I work alone
- Mum: Can I see your tumblr?
- Me: WHAT TUMBLR?! *throws laptop out window, runs to airport, moves to Mexico, changes name to Pepito*
“You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you; then you meet one person and your life is changed forever.” —(via onlinecounsellingcollege)
- someone at the door: rings doorbell
- me: dives to the floor like I'm being shot at, army crawls around the couch, rolls into another room, peeks around a corner to see if I can tell who it is, and then proceeds to wait for them to leave.
shortest horror story ever
- computer: unable to connect to the internet
- At home: I want to go out, I want friends.
- When I go out: I want to go home, I hate people.
i’m gonna name my firstborn “arial”
and people will be like “oh like the mermaid”
and i’ll say “no like the font”
how scary would It be if you lean your head back to stretch and a pez pops out of your neck